Sunday, November 7, 2010

An Open Letter

Dear Diane Keaton,

You have a new movie coming out on Wednesday. Congratulations, and I hope it does well for you. The trailers make it look okay, if nothing worthy of your talents. And let's be honest--what movies you've made in the past 15 years have been worthy of your talents? I mean, you made Something's Gotta Give more fun than it deserved to be, but it was a pretty thin piece. And sure The First Wives Club was cute, but come on. You're Diane Keaton. You were Kay Adams. You were Sonja in Love and Death.  You were effing ANNIE HALL. You deserve WAY better than Because I Said So!

So I have a suggestion for you. Do a play. Historically, playwrights have had a much better idea of what to do with women over 40 than Hollywood executives. Find something juicy and classical to do, or better yet, a new play. I'm sure playwrights would be salivating over the chance to write something for you. And a number of actresses in later middle age have found success in theatre--Annette Bening does a show in LA every few years to great success, Susan Sarandon had a major success in Exit the King on Broadway a few years ago. Phylicia Rashad has turned herself into a major stage actress over the past decade. It's fun, it's probably a better part, and it's likely to be quite successful.

So please, Diane. Theatre audiences of the world await you with open arms. Come to the theatre, where we're fans of women over than 40 60. I mean, do you really want to do more movies like Smother?

Or if not, at least knock out Meryl Streep and play Violet in the film version of August: Osage County.

Love,
Zev

4 comments:

Monica Reida said...

Okay. A Broadway producer needs to get Diane Keaton in a play stat.

(Although I would love to see her in August: Osage County. That would be interesting.)

Bob said...

OMG. Diane Keaton as Violet Weston? I never considered that, but THAT has a potential full of win. Ah, well.

Margaret Lewis said...

You wrangle Diane and I will write a part for her. She should be happy in our spiffy new space on Belmont, right?

Lauren Yarger said...

Diane's too classy for Osage County, but the idea of her being on stage is great.